For most mothers, the love they feel for their children is a strong and
powerful bond that will continue throughout their lives. The love a
mother feels for her child is the same whether the child was grown in
their own body or in their heart, as when a mother adopts a child.
My children are dear to me and I find it hard to see them in pain. I feel like a
mother
hen watching over her baby chicks. Children are tough in some areas,
but always need to know they are loved, wanted and are priceless to
us, at any age. Even when our children don't need us any longer to tie
their shoestrings or to wipe their noses, they still need to know
that we care. Often a child will not feel the impact of their mother's
love until they become a parent themselves or their mother is no
longer living. Then, the power of a lifetime of love their mother
provided sets in.
To love and accept our children, even when
they are driving us nuts and their behavior is horrid is most
challenging. But the mix of unconditional love and loving limits are
the most important duties and obligations a mother can have. Hugs and
kisses are a necessity. Love can be expressed in many other ways too,
including the discipline and responsibility we give to our children.
Eye contact and a simple touch on the shoulder or a love pat on the
back mean so much and cost so little. Try today to think of ways you
can show your children how much you love and value them.
Here
are a few demonstrations of love I have found my children are fond of.
You can adapt these suggestions according to the ages of your child.
Outward expressions of affection for your spouse such as holding
hands and warm hugs are good examples of love and security you can give to your children.
Tuck little thoughtful love notes in their lunches, written on a napkin or
notepaper or under their pillow.
Saying a simple, "I love you!" A smiley face or you're the greatest!
Ask them to read to you - whatever they want - for 10 minutes.
Spend time listening - this is sometimes hard with an active lifestyle,
but
more important than ever. Even 5 minutes can do wonders for a child's
self image. Remember good eye contact is one of the keys. Pull
yourself away from the computer or desk and sit with them face to face.
Mirror their body language, moving forward as they do, or sitting on
the floor with them.
For younger children even up to 10 years
old, holding them on your lap for a minute or two might seem silly,
but most kids miss the times when they were younger and were just held
and comforted.
With my teenage son, I ask him to sit next to me
as we curl up and watch a movie together on the couch. At 6'2," he
rolls his eyes, but he likes it. Now, on occasion, he does it from
habit, but not in front of friends. Big kids need hugs too.
Share
in their hobby or interest. For example, skateboarding may not be
your adventure at 42, but ask them about how skateboards are made. Look
at what they can do - kids love to show off to their parents, so
watch. Listen for, "Watch this mom!" Put down what you're doing and
really watch and praise them for their effort. Encourage them to keep
trying. Smile and verbally respond.
Surprise them by buying
their favorite magazine without being asked to. Just put it in their
room with a little note - Thought of you today! Love, Mom
Take
time to lie on blankets on the grass at night and look to the sky for
shooting stars together. This is one we do as a family each summer and
always have fun, looking up and just sharing, telling stories -
listening to the crickets and being together. We fall asleep under the
stars until it gets so cold that we all run indoors, dragging blankets
behind us. These are no more than simple memory makers.
On
occasion we have a "backwards day", where we eat dessert first and
then the main course; kids love it when their parents are silly at
times.
My ten-year-old daughter loves it when I unexpectedly put
fresh flowers in a vase on her nightstand, a surprise when she goes
to bed.
Let them make their own family photo scrapbook - try
color copying some of photos in your photo albums - this way you are
not losing valuable photos if they cut them up. Old cards and
gift-wrap can make nice backgrounds and borders.
The best way
to let them know you care is to hear it from you. In our family, every
day we say, "Did I tell you today that I love you? Well I do and I
love you more than all the leaves on the trees or all the minutes you
are on the computer." That will prompt them to respond with how they
love me more than all the sand pebbles or the raindrops that fell this
month. Even the big kids need to hear this. They might act as if they
are annoyed, but it is sinking in.
Whichever way you choose to
share your feelings remember to do something each day. Experts agree
that if a child receives their nurturing inside of the family, they
are less inclined to look outside to others that might have other
motives. Create a home where love is shown. Any parents, whether rich
or poor, can afford this.
These simple and free actions can have
a significant influence on our children's daily lives that will last
for a lifetime. The cycle of love between you as a mother and your
child will be passed on to their children all over again. Stop and
enjoy them now. Before you know it, they will be grown and this time
will be lost
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Love Last Forever
Elements of the fairytale experience can, and should, be a real part
of a lasting, loving relationship. There's no reason that "forever
afters" can't exist, and in fact, they should exist with the partner you
call your spouse. True love is a decision of the will. It's a choice
based on many factors, including that "in love" feeling you have for
your spouse. Such a feeling can be built upon with tenderness, romantic
gestures, and caring choices all along the way.
Can love last forever? Yes, indeed it can. Real love is made up of more than just that wonderful feeling that makes your heart go pitter-patter when you first meet. We might call that stage of love infatuation. True love doesn't begin until two people really get to know each other and from there build a stronger connection, loving rapport, and a lasting commitment. Such a relationship takes work, understanding, compromises, flexibility, forgiveness, good communication and much more. Chemistry is a part of it as well, but even beyond chemistry and the physical attraction, a love that will last forever is based on a strong decision to stay together.
Staying together is a lifetime commitment, but just staying together is not good enough. For true love to last forever, it requires two people to remain open, honest, and to change and grow not just individually, but also as a couple. As changes take place, a successful couple manages to flow with the changes, and love each other through them all. So, can love last forever? Truly, there's no reason for love to ever end!
Can love last forever? Yes, indeed it can. Real love is made up of more than just that wonderful feeling that makes your heart go pitter-patter when you first meet. We might call that stage of love infatuation. True love doesn't begin until two people really get to know each other and from there build a stronger connection, loving rapport, and a lasting commitment. Such a relationship takes work, understanding, compromises, flexibility, forgiveness, good communication and much more. Chemistry is a part of it as well, but even beyond chemistry and the physical attraction, a love that will last forever is based on a strong decision to stay together.
Staying together is a lifetime commitment, but just staying together is not good enough. For true love to last forever, it requires two people to remain open, honest, and to change and grow not just individually, but also as a couple. As changes take place, a successful couple manages to flow with the changes, and love each other through them all. So, can love last forever? Truly, there's no reason for love to ever end!
Be Okay with Every Little You Have - Truth about Life & Thoughts
Time alone forces your mind to work and the things your mind
chooses to mull and work on are the things that sometimes can scare you the
most. My personal experience has been that the last 10 months have left me a
lot of time to examine my life and where I'm at right now. I can view it in
terms of what society tells me I should be feeling and happy with, and my own
realistic view as it pertains to my everyday existence which tells me something
entirely different.
My personal view of who I am has always been optimistic.
I've viewed myself as someone loyal, reliable when it counts, but idealistic in
the best sense possible. The life situation known as divorce has forced me to
ponder something that I've always seen the results as an outsider, but never
fully accepted as a part of myself; that is being selfish. The selfishness I've
had to come to accept is not the kind I associate with material things or
money. The selfishness I've concerned myself with, is the idea of happiness and
how it pertains to my life.
Marriage is one of those subjects that has hit in all
previous parts of my dissertation on great human beings because it was
something that I thought would define my being as a success. This was the one
area of life where I thought if I put work into, put effort into, I would never
be alone again. I spent most of my time growing up feeling like an outsider, a
loser, and awkward. I thought that if I found someone to love me for me, and I
could swindle them into spending "forever" with me, that would be
happiness. Married folks always tell you that it's hard work, and while you
associate hard work with aspects of your life like your job, yard work, and
working out, the work involved in a marriage is something completely different.
The aforementioned aspects of work entail physical pain and labor. Marriage
requires sacrifice & compromise and when you really analyze these things
that are needed for a relationship; you don't factor in how much of you think
you are that you will lose to this new entity known as the married couple. If
your marriage is healthy and honest, it's a two way street where solutions come
about by working together. In most situations, it turns out to be one standing
and one falling and resentment builds up and infects all the aspects of what
you originally got together for.
Tranquility to me insinuates a sense of calm well-being that
comes about when being alone. But it was in these times that I was face to face
with my flaws as a person. I wasn't perfect. The things that I perceived and
valued as "good," also carried with them the realization that these
same good qualities also made me weak. I've had to accept that I'm not a great
leader, but a devoted follower with qualities that others at the top may not
possess. Making excuses for yourself is something that comes with having an
ego, but exercising honesty with yourself is something that pain comes with.
There are things that present themselves that you cannot change or require a
lot of work to make better.
After these thoughts percolate in your mind, you start to
question the motives of others. It's like one giant paranoid scheme where
everything that you thought was concrete or a pillar of your life has holes.
You start to tear things down to see. It's at this time, I chose to rebuild.
While my goal is to be honest, especially with myself, the element that is a
fixed variable in this equation known as life is time. Like Pink Floyd sang
about, the "ticking away of the moments that make up a dull day" is
what makes up most of our lives. Was it a huge human flaw that I didn't want my
limited time here to be defined by a marriage where I always compromised? When
I first had the initial success idea that finding someone to marry would make
me happy, the question of "what if things change and they create suffering"
never came into play. To keep my family together, I tried to convince (LIE)
myself, that this was the vow I took. For better or worse. But time was the
nagging element that made me reconsider what my vows meant. Marriage is a
partnership above all. What is a partnership where there is no respect? It's
just one person taking advantage of the other. Did I want my time in life to be
defined by that?
I'm trying to be okay with the fact that life/time is
something that is okay to be selfish about. If I take my life and time back, I
can use it for something and someone better who will appreciate the other
"good" qualities I have and not take advantage of what I consider my
heart. Most of all, I'm accepting the fact that the best investment I can make
with my time is in me. To be alone with these thoughts and flaws so that I can
create a solution isn't something to fear. It's part of who we were meant to be
and discover.
True Joy M. Jolynn Rawson-Hunt
How to live in the present
I'll be happy once I've done this certain thing.
We all say this often not realizing what it brings.
We look only to the future for our happiness.
Letting life slip through our fingers in its fullness.
Will we really feel complete when the task is done,
or look back and see how we missed so much fun?
Self consumed so we can't see anything else,
hurting those we love as well as ourselves.
So many things around us to be grateful for,
when seeking for an answer willingly open the door.
So often, others see what's in front of our face,
but we're too blind to look as we're snared in the race.
What is this life supposed to be about?
Is it money, fortune, fame, or a big house?
When speaking to a man on his dying bed,
none of these answers are what he said.
Family, love, laughter are what we should seek.
These are the precious things right outside your door.
Five Strategies for Managing Worry and Obsessive Thinking
1. Thought Stopping
- When the worrying thought or image comes, shout “STOP” to yourself.
- Then, picture a big, red, stop sign.
Tasks must be active and engaging, not passive. Examples include:
- Artwork
- Crossword Puzzles
- Playing a musical instrument or singing
- Build models (e.g. model trains, airplanes)
- Set aside specified time to worry.
- Limit worry and obsession only to those times.
5. Schedule Compulsions and Worry-Related Behaviors
- Don’t wait until anxiety builds; plan specific time for compulsive behaviors.
- Steadily increase the period of time between worry-related behaviors.
Loneliness.....Author Unknown
Loneliness---------------
Is being out of
touch with yourself
Denying your
innermost need by pretending it
doesn't exist
Defying what
you desperately want to
accept
Exchanging
tenderness for bitterness
Causing
unnecessary alienation all for the
sake of pride
The Invitation by Oriahe Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't
interest me what you do for a
living. I want to know what
you ache for and if you dare to
dream of meeting your heart's
longing.
It doesn't
interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will
risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dream, for the adventure
of being alive.
It doesn't
interest me what planets are
squaring the moon. I want to
know if you have touched the
center of your sorrow, have been
opened by life's betrayals or have
become shriveled and closed for
fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain, mine or
your own, without moving to hide
it or fade it or fix it. I
want to know if you can be with
joy, mine or your own, if you can
dance with wildness and let the
ecstasy fill you to the tips of
your fingers and toes without
cautioning us to be careful, to be
realistic, or to remember the
limitations of being human.
It doesn't
interest me if the story you are
telling me is true. I want to know
if you can disappoint another to
be true to yourself, if you can
bear accusation of betrayal and
not betray your own soul.
I want to know
if you can be faithful and
therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know
if you can see beauty even when it
is not pretty everyday, and if you
can source your life from it's
presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure,
yours and mine, and still stand on
the edge of a lake and shout to
the silver of the full
moon...YES!
It doesn't
interest me to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can
get up after a night of grief and
despair, weary and bruised to the
bone and do what needs to be done
for the children.
It doesn't
interest me who you are or how you
came to be here. I want to
know if you can stand in the
center of the fire with me and not
shrink back.
It doesn't
interest me what or where or with
whom you have studied. I
want to know what sustains you
from the inside when all else
falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company
you keep in empty moments.
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